empowering your yes

Yesterday morning I woke up with the greatest intention of getting up to run. And then one snooze happened,and then the next and then… I didn’t run. A few years ago, I would have been disappointed in myself. But this day was different, this day- I was proud.

The fact of the matter was the night before I stayed up pretty late chatting with a good friend. We had one of those late night wine talks that really soothes the soul and so I didn’t make it to bed nearly as early as I had intended. When 5am rolled around I really thought about getting out of bed to work out, but then…just didn’t. Because that morning, I needed to say YES to sleep more than anything else.

You see, we have opportunities to say yes- and then the corresponding opportunity to then say no. And each yes means a consequential no to something else. But often times the corresponding no is much harder to see. It doesn’t show up in the initial interaction. It can take days or even months to manifest. Yet time is limited. And we really don’t even have 24 hours in a day, when you include rest time. And so we must make the conscious decision about how we want to spend our time.

Notably, people will pull you to do what they want you to do. Don’t get too caught up in that to the point where you start to live for someone else. This is your life to live.

Instead, make the mindful decision ahead of time to get in touch with what you want. Maybe it’s in the morning when you wake up or at the beginning of your week or even at the start of a new month.

Do you need more down time? Do you want a busy social calendar? How much sleep is necessary for you? What takes priority? How often do you need to work out?

How much time can you devote to the different arenas in your life?

How much time do you set aside to just BE? 

Once we have identified our intentions around how we want to spend our time, can we get confident in those decisions? Can we honor ourselves and set boundaries where we need to? Can we express and communicate with the people in our lives why we need to do something besides what they asked us to do? 

Seattle, in particular, has this social issue called the “Seattle Freeze”. Where people say things like, ‘yes! let’s get together sometime’. When they actually mean ‘the only time I have time to see you again is the next time we bump into each other’. And that’s okay if you just tell people that. They will understand.

Time is limited. Life is precious. So ask yourself, what do I need to say yes to this month? Or better yet, start with what you need to say no to. Make a list. Write it down. Keep it in your wallet.

Each day as you wake, may you honor your time and space in this life. May you say yes to the things you have a burning desire to say YES to. And then politely, smilingly, and non-apologetically say NO it’s right for you.

I invite you to share your “NO” list with us today in the comments. Let the materialization of this list hold you to your commitment to yourself so that you may live your best life possible. Namaste

healthy attachment

I like to collect pins for two reasons. My mom used to collect pins- so I feel connected with her younger self when I do- and because I have this purse that looks really great with an assortment of pins placed on it.

Once my friends found out about this collection, I started to receive all sorts of beautiful pins as presents. As I accumulated pin after pin, I felt a special connection to each of them as if they represented a piece of me in their own unique way. The collection continued to grow until my entire purse seemed to be covered. It was like a masterpiece… and then it happened. I lost my first pin. I was so sad- like a part of my collection was missing and gone forever. As I retraced my steps, I felt the disappointment wash over me.

I started to say things to myself like:  I am never going to be able to replace this pin. How could I be so stupid to lose it? I should have never put it on my purse.

After losing a few more, I watched my collection begin to dwindle and considered super gluing the pins on my bag to ensure I wouldn’t lose another. I’m cheap, and don’t own super glue, so I spent some time considering whether or not I should actually make the purchase. Somewhere during this time, it hit me that there was a lesson to be learned from this whole experience.

Things will come and go in our lives. Objects. People. Places. Moments. EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY.  

When we hold on too tightly we cause suffering onto ourselves.

Now, I like to think about my pins as living a temporary life with me- for a time that it was meant to be. And when they fall off, like they all inevitable do, I turn to gratitude and appreciation for the time I had with it.

What are you attached to? Is it a healthy attachment? Ask yourself, to consider the purpose of which it has served you. For nothing is forever- everything is temporary- and in this place of acceptance, we find peace and appreciation for the moment.

self-care :: I’m too busy for that

As a yogini/life coach, self-care is an important part of my daily routine. By nurturing & caring for me- I am able to show up on a daily basis as the best version of me. So naturally, when my friend started to study this phenomenon in her Masters research program, I was intrigued.

 

She surveyed people asking them A) if they had a self-care practice and B) if so, what did it look like? It was not surprising to either of us that most people either 1) didn’t have a self-care practice or 2) didn’t realize they were already practicing one.

Notably, a self-care practice involves not only physically taking care of your body- but a holistic nurturing of your MIND.BODY.SOUL.

Like any “self-practice” it looks different for each individual, which makes it hard to discuss and practice. Because of this, there is WORK that needs to be done in the discovery phase. And questioning to answer- what would a self-care practice look like /feel like for you. It can take months if not a year and your answers are always shifting. Why? Becuase, what you need today is different from what you needed yesterday, will be different from what you need tomorrow. Therefore, your self-care practice must involve flexibility. 

With that said, be patient and give yourself the space to explore. But do so- because your self-care practice has the capacity to move you into your best, most authentic self. It is vital to LIVING AND NOT JUST EXISTING IN YOUR LIFE.

Make yourself a priority. Take care of you. Because when we are our best self we are truly living. Let go of your EXCUSES for not having enough time. Shift priorities and let go of thinks life Facebook scrolling, TV time, or busy work. Your mind, body, and soul are your most important asset. Start treating them as such.

 

We would love to hear your self-care practices! Please share them below. 🙂 

spray paint for your intuition

This week, as my sister and I, sat in a coffee shop preparing for the day ahead we came across a quote that made us giggle- then stop… and cringe.

“TV is like black spray paint for your third eye”- Bill Hicks 

We laughed because it’s true- tv is one of the many mediums we numb ourselves with- but we winced because the authenticity from which we wish to live, is shadowed when we indulge in television.

Think about it like this, when was the last time you tried to think or feel with the tv on? How did it go?

We use tools like television, overeating, excess drinking, or over exercise to fill blank time. Why? Because we don’t fully understand or appreciate this “do nothing time”. The truth is, this time, is when we have the potential to see and understand so much about ourselves and others- it’s the time when we have those “ah HA” moments.

Our third eye is said to hold the seat to our intuition. And intuition is defined as a learning from within. But when we are constantly go-go-go we create little opportunity or space to really listen and learn.

The good thing is, like most self-practices, our intuition can be strengthened and revived through awareness. Our intuitive signals show up through messages to our body, ears, eyes, heart, and/or mind. Being aware of all the avenues we receive signs is the first step to tapping into our intuition. Then, taking the time to slow down and look for these signals becomes the next.

Try this: The next time you have a question, GET STILL, look out the window, or focus on your breath. Give yourself space to formulate a question to ask your intuitive self. Then, once you have it- ASK IT CLEARLY- and wait for a sign. Patience is key.

We could wait, hours, days or weeks. But the keys is to never give up. Believe in it. Believe in yourself. For when you do, once your sign has arrives, you will know it to be true.

my struggle with -being present-

The number of articles and books I’ve read on the idea of “being present” would qualify me as a curious researcher in the field. Yet until last week, I wasn’t quite able to wrap my head around the practice. Chances are, this will change again and I will lose the answer that once satisfied the question. In the meantime, I wanted to share with you where I am at in the process.

Honestly, when I sat down to think about the idea of presence, I kept getting distracted. To rebound against the distraction, I would continually read articles in an attempt to understand the issue. The conclusion I have come to is that we all find presence in our own way.

I know what you are thinking GREAT. That’s not the one step solution I was hoping for. Tough luck. What I can offer you are a few different strategies I have picked up along the way, one of which resonates with me currently. It’s then your job to decide what resonates with you- if any.

 

Breath Work

Take a deep breath in (PAUSE) and exhale it out. Keep doing this and bring your awareness to your physical body.

Tunnel Vision

Block out your distractions. If you have more than one window open on your computer, close it. If you have headphones in your ears or music on in the background, shut it off. If you’re in a busy setting, move to a more secluded location. The fewer distractions the easier it is to be here in the now.

Slow Down & Pay Attention To Detail

Take notice of all the little aspects of the current task you are doing. As opposed to blocking out other stimuli, get so involved in your current project that you don’t have the time or mental capacity to think about anything else.

Plan Accordingly

Leave yourself enough time to get from point A->B. Stop rushing around. Allow yourself the space to focus and be present fully in each moment along the way.

Meditate

Sit or lay down in a quiet place with your hands on your knees or belly. Bring your focus to your breath. Each time your mind thinks of the past, tap your left hand. Each time your mind wanders to the future, tap your right hand. Kindly continue to bring your attention back to the now.

 

 

My take away for you today is to get curious about the mindfulness behind the act of being present. Your curiosity and self-study have the potential to shed light on what techniques work for you.

From this list, what resonates with you? What doesn’t? Please share in the comments if you have any other strategies that we could benefit from. We are in this together- your opinion matters.

knowing your truth

I am a gamer. Always have been, always will be. Thinking back to my childhood years I am reminded of one of the most popular games I played in a large group, truth or dare. I was always one of those kids who picked the “dare”. I would like to think it was because I was adventurous and fun. But that’s a facade for the fact that I was scared to share something no one knew that was my “truth”.

My truth is something that I have come back to time and time again. It’s this on-going relationship I have with my “self” and what is meaningful, valuable,  preferable, desired, feels right TO ME. It is influenced by my experiences, perspective, and the relationships I hold. Each and every one of us has different factors that come together to build our “truths” or our sense of self.

When we come to know ourselves on this more intimate level, when we take the time to understand us, we expand the capacity of our relationships to others.

But let’s face it, it is scary to tell YOUR TRUTH. It involves putting yourself out there- heart on the table- open and vulnerable to pain. And it takes time and effort to even understand what your truth is. And then yet again, it changes throughout your lifetime.

That being said, like many things in your life the fear of pain cannot stop us from moving forward. The fact that fear exists merely means it’s worth taking a closer look at.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
~Brené Brown

Take the time to get to understand your truth. Ask yourself identifying questions. Rumble with the discomfort and allow yourself the space to explore YOU.

the foundation upon which we build

The New Year is a time of new beginnings and changes. For some people this means resolutions, others letting go of the past, still more- setting goals, and/or journaling visions for the future.

A crucial step, that is often forgotten, is what we do BEFORE we move forward.

When architects construct a building they spend a significant amount of time designing the foundation of the structure. While it’s natural to take notice of the beautiful exterior, it is the foundation that creates the space upon which we CAN build. It is the foundation that must withstand the test of time and earthquakes.

Similarly, in our lives, we must root down in our BEING and formulate a solid foundation. Do so by asking yourself questions such as:

How do you hold yourselves? How do you talk about yourself? What kind of support system do you have? Is it enough? Do you want/need more? What sets you off? What do you like? What should you do more of?

These questions shed light on the existing cracks in our support and understanding of ourselves. And once we see the holes, it becomes much easier to spackle them.

Asking ourselves these questions opens up the conversation around svadhaya (translated to: self study). Svadhaya is a process that regenerates over and over again throughout our lifetime. It’s the process of understanding who we are and evolving with that person over time.

If we want 2016 to be “our best year ever”, like many people fantasize about over the New Year, we must be sure we build upon a solid foundation. Before setting out on our quest to conquer the year, we must take the time to ask ourselves what it is we truly want.

We must open our hearts to hear what our body, mind, spirit are telling us.

We must BE PATIENT. It may not come overnight, but it is well worth the wait. For when we see a glimpse and know who we are, nothing can stand in our way.

explore sensations with gratitude

 

With the evolution of our society and the plethora of opportunities available to us, it has become too easy to lose sight of the simple yet beautiful blessings we live with on a daily basis. Truthfully speaking, we never know when tragedy could strike. Instead of waiting for “the day”, can we remind ourselves of the SENSATIONS WE EXPERIENCE AND FEEL while appreciating all we are blessed with?

Admittedly so, sometimes it may be hard to see. But think about it like this… what if you woke up one day and you couldn’t feel your toes? What would you do? Chances are you would long to feel your toes. Yet today, have you appreciated the movement of your foot and your ability to wiggle your toes? {If not do so now- it feels good!}

As the year comes to and end, take time to appreciate all you do have. Explore your body and the power of movement. Do yoga, go on a walk, Google “8 minute abs”. Remind yourself of all the sensations you can feel, taste, hear and experience. Be grateful for all you have.

 

holiday self-care

Self-care is not selfish it is self-respect.

Far too many times I have overworked, overscheduled, overcommitted myself to please others. It hurts not only me but also the people surrounding me. The feeling of letting others down is just plain rotten.

Sometimes, the stigma around the word “selfish” makes us scared to take care of our being.

In order for us to serve others, love one another, and give wholeheartedly we must cherish these feelings within ourselves.

We must build a solid foundation within through self-care and self-love. Truthfully, if we were to all be a little bit more concerned about our own being, taking care of ourselves and honoring us, this world would be a better place.

As we move into the holiday season, can we give ourselves the grace to step back and take care of US? Here are a few ways you can “self-care” this holiday season.

Pamper yourself

You deserve a long hot bath, that haircut you have been considering, or an extra long massage. Relish in the moment and indulge in yourself.

Schedule “down” time

One holiday party down — five more to go. When you say yes to one thing you say no to something else. Be realistic about your time and what you can commit to. No one likes a party pooper.

Work it out

Exercise makes us feel strong and healthy. Sweat out the extra holiday treats by committing yourself to a consistent workout plan. Start the new years resolution early!

 Sleep in

Resist the urge to wake up early on your days off to “get things done”. If they are that important, you will make time for them later. Right now, make time for sleep.

Holidays are a good time to rest up and refresh, whether you celebrate or not. Use this opportunity to check back in with yourself. You deserve all of this and more.

dropping into presence

“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.”

Albert Einstein

Living in the now is the greatest present you can give yourself and others this holiday season. It feels good, is free of cost, and sends positive energy to your body mentally, physically, and emotionally. When you are able to ground yourselves in the present moment you begin to live a happier, healthier life, shifting your perspective to let go of your stressors and worry patterns and instead find peace in the now. This shift in awareness takes a mindfulness practice and is even more important as the busy holiday season kicks in. So how do you do it? And how do you do it NOW, rather than waiting until 3-4 days into your vacation?

Here are a few key tools to drop you into present moment appreciation-

RIGHT HERE :: RIGHT NOW

1. Focus on your breath- Come back into your physical body through deep inhales and exhales. The breath refocuses your attention from your mind space into your heart space. Mmmhh, that already feels yummy doesn’t it? With each breath you fall deeper into your Parasympathetic Nervous System, gliding you into a state of rest and BEING in the moment.

2. Pay attention to detail by single-tasking- During a time of year when your to-do lists seem to be lengthening, now more than ever, it the time to simplify. By single tasking, you can train your brain to focus on one thing at a time and in turn glorify present moment awareness.

3. Smile- Did you know that smiling actually makes you happier? That’s right. If you put a pencil in your mouth long ways, either end back at your molars, you will induce a smile onto your face. Your facial expressions communicate with your mind about how you feel. If you are feeling down, try the pencil trick! It’s sure to make you smile, either from the holding action or from how silly you might feel by holding it there. 🙂

4. Give thanks- The practice of gratitude helps you appreciate the abundance in all you have. When was the last time you wrote down a list of everything you HAD, rather than everything you wanted? Try a gratitude list this season, to ground you in the moment, and ditch the “wish list”. Because gratitude turns what we have into enough and more.

Whether you are staying home for the holidays or packing up to travel abroad, may you find peace in the presence. Join me for the #givepresence movement this holiday season and forward this on to those you love who would find joy in the gift!